Saturday, 2 October 2010

Love Letters to The Warrior.

So I was clearing away some old mails and such from my inbox when I came across this little ditty that I wrote to my good chum Alan a few years ago. made me chuckle.
Alan plays Guitar in the London, and Factual, based band Down I Go. Who are rather good. Like botch taking a history lesson from Mike Patton with the Locust as class mates. Check them out h e r e.

Alex Macarte May 25, 2008 at 1:07pm
tried to buy your bloody new album the other day. Carlisle doesnt have it. Can you fucking beleive it. I asked the guy behind the counter and he just gave me some shit about the warriors that came before him and the power given to him from the spaceship would crush me. I didnt recognise him at first, but as I stared him in the eye, standing my ground, I noticed the warrior markings painted on his face. He continued in a rage, so animal like and visceral, telling of prophecies and that soon hulkamania would be all but a ruin. I had enough. I could take his jibes no more. So I pulled myself onto the counter and from the great hieght I was now standing from I leg dropped the ultimate warrior slamming his larynx. Stunned the warrior arose and let out a battle cry. This meant nothing to me. I warned other shop goers and music lovers to stand back. And I ran all the way to the other side of the shop. From the far end I could see the warrior was in a daze. He had now ripped his HMV unifom shirt from his torso, throwing it at me, with no regard or respect. I took his name badge from said shirt. Held it aloft and crushed it in my hand. A sign of what I would now do to him. I hurled myself, at full speed, to ward him and peformed an axe bomber, wrapping my arm around his head and slamming him to the ground.
With the warrior concused, laying on the ground by the counter, I then stink faced him, rubbing my arse in his face. The Uiltimate humilation of the ultimate warrior.
Alas, I left HMV, bruised,tired, sweaty and no CD. Worst of all is I'm now banned from the shop.

I figure you now owe me.
Johnny Hoof May 25, 2008 at 1:12pm Report
I can't believe you bothered to write all that out, but i'm glad you did because it has made me laugh and when I have a hangover as bad as this one, a laugh is a rare thing.

Fuck the album mate, just download it

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